October 18th, 2009 was THE day I officially had only one child in diapers.  It was the day I was dreaming of.  It was the first time since November 2006 I would only be changing one child’s diaper.  Like many things in life, the hype was better than the reality.

For a little while there, when we had three under three, there were three kids in diapers.  So I was so looking forward to potty training.  Well not the potty training itself, but after the anticipated hassle-free aftermath.  The older ones would “go” when they needed to go.  We’d save millions of dollars on diapers, pull-ups, wipes.  My function as a diaper-changing-automaton was going to morph into all this free time.  It was going to be great.

It sucks.  They still can’t wipe their own butts.  When they previously needed a diaper change it could at least wait 5 minutes for me to help whichever child was spazzing out at that exact same moment  for no reason save inconvenience to mommy.   Not now.  Now they are “big kids”, when they need to go –  they need to go, and left to their own butt-wiping devices will create a bathroom swimming in E.coli and a the perfectly appropriately named “half-assed” wiping job.

I’m a little bitter no one told me, this is MORE work than diapers.  I have a choice –  Do I let them take care of “bathroom time” themselves and just ask “did you wash your hands”?   Or suck it up and go in with them, supervising the whole process and jumping in when necessary?  (Do they not feel the hunk hanging?!?) (“Running the water for 2 seconds is NOT washing your hands.”)  (“Yes, I CAN see why you need new underwear.”)

Next thing your going to tell me, when they go to school it won’t really be so much easier.  They will have more stuff , I mean I will have more stuff on my plate – homework, projects, activities, carpools, sports, lessons…

I’m leaving the baby in diapers until she’s 10.

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