I have a confession to make:

Sometimes I feel VERY jealous when I read or hear somebody’s “I PAID OFF ALL MY DEBT AND YOU CAN TOO” story.

I make comments like, “Way to go!” or “That is AWESOME!”.   Deep down though, I’m a little resentful.  I want it to be me.  I can’t help it but I read their story and pick apart the ways it was so much easier for them and how it is so much harder for me.

“OOOH, I see they don’t have kids.  No wonder they could put so much towards their debt.  They don’t have 5 mouths to feed.”

“Yep.  Just as I thought, they make double a year what we make.   Of course they could pay off their debt so quickly.”

I wish the stories were inspirational but at times I am a little stuck in the “whining phase” as opposed to “accepting personal responsibility phase”.   Most days I can visualize the finish line, when all the debt is paid off, those are the days I search out the “I Paid off my Debt” posts.   But some days, it feels like it will never happen and that is when I whine.  Or maybe it is better to say, “I get discouraged.”

I’ve never heard those who got themselves out debt say it was easy, but I can never get a good handle on how hard it was for them either.

Their story always ends the same.  They write the “final post”.  They are out of debt.

Where is the “Personal Finance” blogger who starts the journey, makes the commitment, posts everyday about how they are saving money on this or that, shows how their debt is going down with graphs and spreadsheets and fails in the end, never gets to write the final post?  Does that happen?   Will it happen to me?

(OK, now I got Stuart Smalley going in my head.   “You’re good enough, you’re smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you.”)

So I get discouraged.   This is not a good enough reason to quit.  We push on.  So right now we pay 24.5% interest on our credit card while others are making double mortgage payments.

They all started somewhere too…

I’ve stopped playing the world’s smallest violin for myself.

And when my time comes for “THE POST”, I’ll try to remember I was once like this.

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